Caught Between

It is only recently that I have discovered the term “Intersex” and how it relates to my body. I like this term because I prefer more choices than male or female, I think there’s a continuum of Male———-to———–Female just like shades of grey from black to white. It wasn’t until I was twenty-nine years old that a label was placed on my physical differences, differences I never quite understood

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The Climb.

It’s somewhat curious, what anyone of us focuses upon given Our pasts. Sure, there is overlay and commonalities, but our roots seem to be very individualized. For me, it is genetics. That which I cannot change and have to learn to accept. Accept all that this entails and how my life has been thusly affected and how I chose to cope or have chosen to cope in the past.

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Lost and Found

l grew up in a family on the wrong side of the tracks, we never had much to spare. I was the youngest of three. My brother 5 years older and my sister 18 months older. Life was hard, my father was in a lot of ways like a fourth child, my mother was tough and long-suffering. My father had become mentally ill and suffered from multiple personality disorder. My mother worked two jobs just to keep the wolves from the door and we saw little of her from day to day.

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Late Diagnosis

I was born on 5th March 1953, received all the relevant medical checks done at that time and was pronounced a healthy baby boy. I married at 24 years of age and after a few years, we decided on a family. Unsuccessful after a time, I was sent for a fertility test and it came…

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Finding Me

I was diagnosed 47XXY at the age of 37, meaning I have one sex chromosome greater than Males (46 XY) and Females (46 XX). Although I presented as male, my body did not produce sufficient testosterone that would have allowed it to virilise in line with my peers. In that absence, my outward appearance developed…

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In A State of Perpetual Motion

If I stop and think, I look inwards and get depressed, and overwhelmed. All the things that need to be done just to maintain status quo, not all the additional things to move ahead and get a sense of accomplishment One technique I used to employ and need to employ again, are: mind maps. Just…

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Living with My Son – A True Adventure

Through the years, as I lived with him, watched him grow, seeing his courage, and learned to value him for whom he is, I came to realize that I was the one who gained the most from our relationship. I tried to make him like everyone else, tried to get him to do what others were doing, act like others, and speak like others. I was often impatient with him, at times even cruel when, in anger, I said hurtful things. But, in the end, I learned from him to be a better person.

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You Are Not Alone

An excerpt from Ian W McKinlay’s book “The KS Story” (You Are Not Alone) which is an excellent joint resource by Ian and Professor Milton Diamond of The University of Hawaii, professor Diamond has been a long term advocate of the Intersex community and has written extensively about 47XXY. Our excerpt focuses on Ian’s personal account of what being XXY has meant to him.

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Watching, Waiting

I was given a karyotype test later in life of 47,XXY after undergoing fertility testing. I didn’t accept the original assessment of my having Klinefelter Syndrome which the doctor read aloud from a medical textbook describing symptoms of physical traits that didn’t resemble myself at all. I filed the original diagnosis medical report away at…

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Walk With Me

About a year and a half ago, a friend informed me of a study being done by The National Institute of Health that would aid in the understanding of Klinefelter’s. I immediately told my wife about it, she encouraged me to investigate it and participate. I have always considered myself highly atypical of Klinefelter’s. I…

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I Am Who I Want To Be

At age sixty-four, in August 2018, I spoke with Jim about our XXY lives and all we had in common. I was so excited to finally meet someone with similar traits. I was elated. As we spoke, it made me realize that XXY wasn’t the big deal I made it. I don’t have to struggle anymore. I could love and accept myself. I was released to explore my feminine self. Joy was the emotion I felt.

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We Are One

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a mythical being? As a hermaphrodite, I exist in a culture that sees only male or female. Those of us who don’t fit into the rigid sex binary are left out of many of the protections offered to our cousins who more neatly fit…

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In Memory

When I was in junior high and took gym, we all showered together. I didn’t notice, but all the other boys always teased me about how small my genitals were.  In gym class itself, I could not do as well as others at anything.  The teacher graded on a curve, so the lowest part of…

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Learning to Fly

I never really felt too different from the others guys growing up and considered myself completely normal up until quite recently. I played a wide range of sports as a kid and throughout my high school years I stayed active in volleyball, swimming, cross-country running, and badminton. When all my childhood friends’ shoulders began to…

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My middle school years marked a time of increased difficulty. I had a difficult time in English class. There were so many rules regarding verbs and predicates. The concepts and terms were very confusing. The curriculum was geared toward brains that had reached a level to understand complex ideas, but it wasn’t

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A Tribute

Dr. Michael Laurence Noble was born in 1959. He lived with difference all his life. In his 30s he was found to have XXY sex chromosomes, and diagnosed with Klinefelter syndrome. He found the standard treatment, testosterone, to be traumatic. This experience led to him becoming an intersex advocate.

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The Hole In Me to the Whole Me

I was born in 1983 and I grew up in Des Moines a small city in Iowa. From the outside, I appeared to be a quiet young man, soft-spoken, artistic and shy. From a young age, I had crushes on older boys and men. When I was twelve I understood that when kids called someone a fag on the playground they were describing me. I was a fag, I was gay.

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I’m a Man and a Woman

I had always been a sickly child, suffering more than my fair share of childhood ailments: asthma, chest infections and flu. Other kids called me a “weaky” because I was skinny and hopeless at sport. I hated rough-and-tumble boys’ games and preferred knitting, but I had no idea my feminine leanings were down to genetics.…

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The Calling

I was born in 1961 in East Sussex, England, and apart from what my mother has shared with me about those early years, I cannot recall very much myself. She said I was a quiet and withdrawn child who did very poorly in school and that teachers described me as being slower than the average kid. I can recall difficulties with reading writing, and I continue to struggle with some of those to this day.

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Something Isn’t Right

So, how can discussions of differences take place to further understanding and acceptance? A discussion based upon mutual respect is one way. When discussing my son’s language development, should I say that he is “delayed in expressive language?” Should I say that his “inferential comprehension was lower than it should be?” What would be a better way to express these issues?

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Venture a Highway

For over 25 years, I was an ordinary woman with a secret. It’s a secret that always made me feel “less than” and caused me to leave behind a trail of failed dreams and relationships. In those years of ordinariness, no one ever discovered my secret even though not a single day went by without me being terrified they would. It coloured every decision I made and every relationship I was in.

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Everything Is Clearer Now

Once I turned 18, I was no longer able to see my paediatrician and was subsequently referred onto an endocrinologist who would oversee my continual treatment. This is when everything started going drastically wrong. The endocrinologist I saw had very little understanding of the management of XXY, let alone the importance of routine blood tests. Over the course of 4 years, he continually raised my dosage of testosterone until I was taking Reandron every 6 to 8 weeks rather than every 12.

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Reflecting on better times

I don’t normally speak about my KS, experiences, or thoughts, but I felt like sharing some of them with you. I am a 50-year-old male and lived with KS for as long as I can remember, but my specialist only diagnosed me with KS about 25 years ago in the 90s. I am also an…

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